GUEST BLOG: Jeff Roper
- Mar 27, 2009
I am on the Pickens Plan thing and when they ask me to send along form letters to my reps, I usually do. Eventually, I will receive an equally form reply from whoever. Below is Sen Hutchison’s most recent reply. To be honest, it could have come from any Senator. In fact, maybe there is a secret government web site that generates pithy replies on their behalf – like YouCanFoolSomeOfThePeople.gov or something. (If so, they need to improve the speed of turn around. I think I sent my email over a month ago.) Anyway, sometimes when I read this rubbish I am less than amused.
Summing up what I read below:
Euphemisms – effective to avoid offending one’s social sensibilities, totally ineffective when avoiding reality.
“Our economy is facing dramatic challenges” = we are staring into the eyes of amoral greed and regulatory ineptitude.
“Conditions are rapidly evolving, creating volatility and uncertainty” = we are clueless from one day to the next.
“Economic downturn” = near total paralysis of capital flows and hemorrhaging unemployment.
Religion – belief founded on systematic faith, typically en masse; root of most large scale recorded atrocities since we began keeping track.
“Passed on a party line vote” – evidently our core issues, and more importantly the solutions, are actually rooted in partisan ideology. What a relief! The solution obviously lies in simply casting a Hebrews versus Gentiles light to clarify the discussion. In the comfort of the party we are absolved of the bother and nuisance of forming a thoughtful and balanced strategy. Surely if the Republicans just kill all the Democrats (or possibly the other way round) we will have found the elusive vaccine.
Conjecture – sounds great as long as you don’t pay attention.
“History teaches …” Oh, if only that were true. Actually, history chronicles and, even then with such bias to the perception of the author as to render its veracity dubious.
“I…will…spend the funding immediately and effectively” in one statement and “consider the long-term consequences” in the next. Diametric positions taken with the liberty of a fictional novelist, possibly a history teacher.
If I were to reduce into Cliff’s Notes, on behalf of the good Senator, I think it might come out something like this: “We are experiencing the minor discomfort akin to child birth. However, we have a solution that is really quite simple. We will take a bunch of money and give it to everybody. If we hurry we can make the pain go away quicker, sort of like taking 200 aspirin instead of 2 at the onset of a headache. Then we will cleanse the population through the systematic genocide of all dissenting opinions. I appreciate hearing from you and others of your persuasion. I hope you will not hesitate to contact me on any issue of concern to you. Relax. We will be in touch again soon.”
I am a political agnostic so don’t believe that any party holds the secret key to anything more profound than the senatorial washroom. In the end, it is human beings of all manner of political and cultural heritage that have brought about the present mess. I suspect it will require a similarly diverse lot to clean it up. And, as we all know, history teaches us that there is never any satisfaction or success in a witchhunt.
(Jeff Roper is principal scientist and chief product officer at M|PF Yieldstar. He can be reached at 972.820.3920 or 214.636.6017.)